As happens each year sometime during the month of May, we go from having our heat on to our air conditioning on within two days of one another. We are having a string of 90+ degree days with a heat index in the 100's. We come out of our winter hybernation and shlep the kids and all our gear over to the aquatic center just in time for its annual opening.
Having gone to art school and studied design concepts, color, compostion, size relations, etc. I know that to bring out, let's say, the red in something, you go to the opposite end of the color wheel and place it next to green. To bring out the lightness of something, you place it next to a dark object, and so on. Basically, it's a lesson in contrasts. With this concept in mind, I enter the pool area, look around for the best spot and pull up a chaise next to the whitest, heaviest person there. I then procede to check out every woman who walks by. Thoughts go through my head like, "I wonder if my thighs are that lumpy?" "That woman has had three children and still has a flat stomach?" "Sure, it looks good from the front, but she must not have been able to see the back." Eventually it becomes my turn to walk across the line of chairs, knowing I'm the one being critiqued. I stand up straight, inhale deeply (it's important I don't exhale) and I'm on my way. I try to walk in a way which will minimize my thighs rubbing together but which won't appear like I'm a child who has just wet their pants and doesn't want their legs to touch the wet fabric. It's a delicate balance.
Finally, when I can no longer take the stifling heat, I resign myself to taking off my cover-up and gently lift it over my head. I do this looking as casually as I can, although inside I'm hoping upon hope that my tankini top doesn't rise and expose my fleshy mid-section. My stomach hasn't seen the light of day in 31 years! Yes, 31 years!!! Not since I was 12 years old have I exposed my stomach to the sun. This is skin so white it can only be described as light blue. Even my chosen seat mate can't offer that much contrast.
I enter the water as quickly and gracefully as I can. I go at least as far as where the water will cover my unsightly areas. This water level seems to get higher each summer. It is very difficult to do just about anything in the water gracefully. It's a bitch to try to walk around and forget about the tube slides, have you ever seen anyone come shooting out one of those looking cute and stylish? With kids splashing all around, I try to smile and look pleasant while trying to keep my hair dry and styled just tousled enough to look like it's not important to me. Maybe they could have a good hair section of the pool - sort of like the smoking section of a restaurant - where kids aren't allowed and us moms can stay nice and dry the way we like it.
Somewhere in all of this, I have to scan the mass of heads in the pool, trying to make sure my offspring are still around and having fun. At least someone is enjoying this.
5 comments:
I wish we could have 1 hot day here. The weather has been just plain crappy - thank God for the few sunny days we had in Corsica.
Last year I exposed my stomach for the first time in a long time. I finally decided to buy and then get the courage up to wear a two piece while on vacation. It's still not easy to do, but I'm getting more comfortable with it.
By the way...did you notice I completed my profile?
I have always worn a one piece but am considering going to the old 1920s type that looks like a wrestling singlet. The abs have turned into flabs.
Dang! That was a thought I had to include in my blog but I forgot to do so. I am returning to the old suits with the sailor collar and wool tights.
I try to steer clear of public pools these days. Gone are the days in my 20s when I had a 33" waist and weighed 165lbs. I'll swim at friends' houses and the beach, but that's about it.
When the kids were younger I sacrificed, as you are now, and I kept a nice golden tan, but no more. I do have a great farmer's tan right now, after a day of golf on Monday in the blistering Texas heat.
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