My niece's wedding is in two days. This was the first of my two target weight-loss days. I didn't come close to meeting my goal. Today's weigh-in was 144. I guess overall, I've only lost two pounds. I have deprived myself of many, many sweets and fast food treats only to lose two lousy pounds. Oh well, I guess if I didn't deprive myself, I might have actually gained two pounds. I'm blaming the weight on my medicine or premenopause...anything but my own poor diet and lack of exercise.
I have already begun primping for the big day. Yesterday, I gave myself a pedicure, a facial, removed the light peach-fuzz facial hair and deep-conditioned my hair. I went out and bought fake nails, false eyelashes, fake tanner and a "minimizer" (aka girdle). I am concerned that when I squeeze myself into my minimizer, I will look like a bratwurst that has been cooked in the microwave just a bit too long and has burst out of its casing at the top and bottom. When I shook my purchases out of the bag and onto our bed, I realized that my appearance will be mostly fake. Maybe the sight of a middle-aged woman trying to be tan and thin with fake nails and dyed hair will distract from my problem areas.
It is fun to get all primped for a big event. I love getting "fancy" because most of my time is usually spent in a baseball hat, baggy shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops. So forgive me for all the enhancements. The truth is, I like the real me but it's fun once in a while to glam it up.
8 comments:
Some times I like to enhance the red ring around my a$$ with lipstick. You really should try it.
In order to side step the sausage appearance, I have found that one of those "minimizers" that look like a one piece swimming suit work well. It gets rid of the under the bra strap back fat too.
If the weather stays cool, this won't be too hard to endure. Have fun! Be sure and put a pic up of the glammed up TSK.
TSK -
I've never thought that your flab or facial hair have detracted from your looks. You're beautiful!
Miss Timber - MMMMM, back fat! Goooooooooood eatin'!
TBF- I remember during one of the first times I met you that you looked at me and said, "Look at that nose hair!" Is it any wonder why I may have self-image issues?
Wait...so now you have long nose hair AND peach fuzz facial hair? GROSS!!!
*BTW...Mrs. TBF is sitting right next to me and wants me to point out that she has nothing to do with these comments.
Not any more I don't!
BTW, I know Mrs. TBF would NEVER leave a mean comment. I will always assume it's you.
I love to get all gussied up, too! Back when my husband and I were dating, I would spend half the day on Saturday getting ready for our date. There was bleaching, plucking, waxing, shaving... Actually, I think I have some excess hair issues. If it wasn't for that, I probably would have been ready in half the time!
I tried to wax my upper lip once and ended up with a horrible rash. It would have been a lot less noticible if I had just left the 'stache.
The last time TBF was in town, I had Nair'd my stache and had inadvertently used "regular" not "facial" Ouch! I ended up with red and swollen upper lip. Now that's attractive.
Post a Comment