I'm all vechlempt

I just finished reading a book by Mike Leonard, "The Ride of Our Lives". It's a great, easy read and I loved it. The book tells his real-life account of an RV trip around the country taken with his elderly parents and children. Being an RV owner, I would love to do this same thing although, for one reason or another, the dream never comes to fruition. It is a wonderful combination of funny and sentimental, my definition of what makes a book or movie really enjoyable. So here I sit all vechlempt with a stuffy nose and dried tears on my face.

I'm going through a really weepy phase. No, I'm not PMSing. I am an emotional person. Often too emotional. I can get myself whipped up into a frenzy of unnecessary worry over trivial things. That is why I'm on medication.

Last year, I started an anti-depressant. I also started high blood pressure medication at the same time. The combination of these two medicines definitely "took the edge off" but brought me to the opposite extreme and turned me into an emotionally-dead slug. An increasingly chubby, emotionally-dead slug.

About a month ago, my doctor gave me the go-ahead to wean myself off of the high blood pressure medication. Since then, my weight has dropped by 9 pounds (yay!) and I have my energy back. Apparently, I have my emotions back as well. And all along I thought it was the anti-depressant causing the nasty side effects.

Anyway, The Swede and I have been going through an emotional struggle whether or not to make an offer on a house. I have had a desire to move for a long time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with where we live now, but for various reasons, I'd like to move and this other house has been calling our name. We finally made the decision to make an offer last night which will be presented today. I truly feel we cannot lose. If the deal doesn't go through, then we are left with our current great house surrounded by wonderful neighbors.

As I lay there weeping, finishing up my book this morning, I began thinking of all that has happened here in this house. Of course the obvious thing like our babies being born here, but also sad things like The Swede's mom living here after the passing of his dad and mourning the loss of our own unborn child.

It was that loss that brought us to our next door neighbors. The Swede and I hadn't really gotten to know them well and, truthfully, we had a slightly negative opinion of them. The day following our loss, two flower arrangements arrived. One from The Big Finn's (thank you) and one from our next door neighbors. About a week later, we received a letter from this neighbor expressing her concern and understanding. It was so beautifully written and heartfelt that it made me strip away the negative thoughts about her and give her a chance.

She has been a very good friend of mine for 9 years now.

We spend almost all of our adult fun time with them, we vacation with them, we call each other weekly to borrow forgotten ingredients for meals, the kids have grown up together, etc., etc., etc. She also taught me a big life lesson. She has made me realize that it's not enough just to think of or pray for someone in need, you need to be there for someone in need. I have learned from and followed her act of kindness.

Through these thoughts and the tears that accompanied them, I glanced across the room to the door jamb and thought about all the tick marks with names, dates and heights scribbled next to them. How do you leave that behind?

I am praying to God that He lead us in the direction that is best for us -- whatever that may be.