On Charisma

It goes by many names...

The X Factor
Je-ne-sais-quoi
Charisma

No matter what you call it, there's no denying it exists.
Bill Clinton has it.
Barach Obama has it.
The Medium Swede has it.
I suspect Oh The Joys has it.
Even The Big Finn has it.

I have none of it.

I am the polar opposite of E. F. Hutton. When I talk, no one listens.

When I talk, The Swede someone always starts talking as if I wasn't saying anything.

The Swede and I have been doing our puppy homework and watching Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. When The Swede just looks at Scout, she immediately goes into her submissive mode–ears back, head down–and instantly stops her bad behavior.

Now it's up to me to become The Dog Whisperer. I muster up all the confidence, assertiveness and authority I can and look her straight in the eye.

Nothing.

If a dog could speak, I'm certain I would hear something like "Yeah, right. You go try to be the big man somewhere else now."

This also carries over into motherhood. As each mom will tell you, children listen to their father far more than they do their mother. I have always assumed it is because we are home with them more and eventually they become deaf to all of our scolding. Now, I'm thinking perhaps it's because women are more sensitive and gentle by nature and the defiant beasts little kids can sense that. I tell myself that until the moment I witness another mom with total control. I'm back to thinking it must be me.

I've always been this way. I was an extremely shy and quiet child. I wanted nothing more than for no one to take notice of me.

By high school, I had overcome some of my shyness and had a large group of friends. I even became a fringe "popluar girl". Still, when all my friends got asked to dances, I never once did.

Never once.

In all four years.

Big. Time. Loser.

My sister's daughter has reached high school and my sister often mentions how it matters not what someone may look like, or act like, some kids are just born popluar. This is the point where I mention charisma. And the fact that I have none of it as witnessed by the fact that I was never asked to a single dance. Then, being our own biggest fans, we ponder why.

My family recently got together to watch my niece's wedding video. Before it began I had to make the disclaimer that my dancing "was a joke."

My niece said, "You're a very serious dancer."

What? I was having a ball at her wedding! I did my silly dance usually reserved for home when I want to make the boys laugh. I laughed and laughed, did the silly dance over and over and laughed some more.

That was my recollection anyway.

When you see me on the video, I have a stoic, stern look on my face. Even when I'm dancing. Wow. I had no idea I stood around looking like such a biatch. I said to the room, "Imagine what I must look like when I'm having a bad time."

My sister finally said "You want to know why you were never asked to a dance? That's why."

That made me laugh at myself even more.

I think I've figured out that charisma equals confidence. What do you think?