My New Lifestyle of 2007

As part of My New Lifestyle of 2007, I started my excercise regime yesterday. First, before suiting up with the pooch, I took some "before" pictures of me standing in my undewear and jog bra. Now, I'm a pretty open book, but I do draw the line at posting those photos. Maybe if the "after" photos are worth posting, I will do so then. For now, just be thankful I spared you from viewing them.

I'm starting slowly so Day One just started off with a power walk, short jog, power walk. I should've known how this was going to go when I discovered my iPod was on the fritz. There is nothing worse than working out with no music. I must look on the bright side and appreciate the fact that at least I was with my dog and not alone. Alone with no music and I would've given up without ever going outside.

I got about three houses away and fell flat on my ass on what looked to be damp pavement. The cartoon-like, airborn, flying arc and thud with which my body landed told me it was no mere dampness, but rather a thin coating of ice. The only thing missing was the "weeeoo-oop" slide whistle that always accompanies a fall in cartoons. I checked to see if the pooch's forelimb was intact after a 150+ pound fatty's entire body weight landed smack-dab on top of it. Yes, I did say 150+. Since this past summer, I have been gaining weight at an alarmingly high rate. The medicine I'm on not only makes my body store more fat, it also makes me feel sluggish and hungry ALL THE TIME. But hey, I'm happy and not a nervous wreck like I was a year ago at this time. Ahh, the good life with antidepressants.

I headed toward the neighborhood bike path which runs along some power lines, the school and, as I found out yesterday--testing day--the air raid siren. It was unbelievably, ear-piercingly loud. The dog freaked out. I began to power, power walk. I'm certain that had The Swede been there, he would've said to me what he always says when he sees an overweight woman, thighs rubbing together, "Careful, you just might start a fire."

A short time later, I began my jog. I sensed something following close behind me. Unfortunately, when I spun around to see what it was, I realized it was my own ass. With every step, I could feel every loose muscle and flabby pouch of fat --front and back--bouncing up and down, up and down. As I ran, my only thought was, "When, oh when, will the endorphine-induced euphoria that I've always heard about begin and this searing pain in my lungs and legs end?? Oh, what could be worse?"

I found out today. Day Two's searing pain accompanied by sore muscles.